The Drunkard's Cloak

Every chapter is a strange little doorway.

I came for the inventions. I stayed for the oddities.

Excellent games. Terrible rabbits. I demand a rematch.

Came. Saw. Played. Got stabbed in the back by the difficulty setting.

Conquered half the world. Still can't beat level three.

We are not amused. We have been playing for six hours.

I am the state. Apparently, I am also Player Two.

I have had six wives and zero successful speedruns.

I discovered gravity. This game discovered my inability to jump.

And yet, the loading spinner moves.

Brilliant. But why isn't everything electric?

Survival of the fittest? Not with these controls.

I clicked New World. Ended up somewhere completely different.

Absolutely radiant. Perhaps a little too radiant.

To play, or not to play? Ridiculous question.

Beautiful artwork. I'm all ears.

I know only one thing: I am terrible at this game.

The graphics are divine. The hitboxes need work.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that I require one more round.

Just one more game. Quoth the raven: Nevermore.

Five stars. Not enough piracy.

Heard a voice telling me to play. It was the tutorial.

Finally, an adventure I can finish without leaving home.

Traveled the world. Somehow missed all of this.

There are no more worlds to conquer. Are there more levels?

I was looking for an honest man. Found a ridiculous game instead.